Thomas O'Brien

I was absent for a week as I visited friends in my old home town. My ‘vacation’ was actually a vacation from NON-celibacy. But I did run into some old friends who had lived in Costa Rica or at least visited there, and none of them was happy about the celibate lives they were living in the U. S. A. They all asked me about Colombia, and wanted to know if the women here were really as beautiful and sexy as people say. My answer was that not ALL Colombian women are beautiful. Some are quite the contrary. But I was quick to add that there were still zillions of beauties here and a man who had a little discretionary income could certainly arrange some very attractive local company for himself.

[rau]

It brought home to me the simple truth that there are a great number of men who have good reasons to live in the U. S. A. or elsewhere in the North American sexual desert, but don’t enjoy the involuntarily celibate lives they live. To those ‘in the know,’ there are options. Those who are unaware of those options may be resigned to their fates, or they may not. Others realize that the solution lies just a plane ride away.

There are some difficulties in exercising this option for many. The married ones probably need to think up a pretty good excuse. Deep sea fishing was one that worked pretty well for Costa Rica, but won’t really pass inspection in Medellin. Those who are not married have it easier. Friends may ask why Medellin, but I suppose nobody has to know you aren’t actually going to the beach somewhere instead of inland. Any excuse will do if you don’t have somebody who is going to examine it too closely… like a wife, just for example.

I met more married travelers when I was in Costa Rica that I meet in Medellin, and maybe it’s because excuses aren’t as easy to fabricate. Among those with nobody to answer to, I meet plenty of gringos who have found Medellin very much to their taste.

There are other places, of course. Some of them actually provide pretty decent excuses. I hear the trout fishing is very good in Argentina. In any event, for those not overly restricted, vacations from celibacy can be had. No question.

Actually, it was this past Saturday, the day before the primary elections in Colombia. As if to prove that they are still a bit of a banana republic, they ran out of ballots all over the country. But I’m not here to talk politics, least of all COLOMBIAN politics. I’ll just tell about my Saturday afternoon trip to Medellin Centro.

I had an order to pick up at five o’clock at my favorite pharmacy. It’s about one long block north of Parque Botero. Having nothing better to do, I arrived on time. Unfortunately, my order was not yet ready. Come back in an hour, they said. Now, if this happened to me at some strip-mall pharmacy, I might be annoyed. But I was in Medellin Centro, and killing an hour is pretty easy.

[rau]

Across the street was a ‘gentlemen’s club’ that was open daytimes. Down at the end of the block was another, which had the advantage of being air conditioned. I decided to give that a shot first. Sadly, the place was totally packed and the music was ear-splitting, as usual. I decided to move on. I walked around a couple of the blocks nearby that had numerous bars and several ‘gentlemen’s clubs,’ but the music coming from every single one of them was just too loud for me to tolerate, so I passed dozens of them by and ended up near where I started,

There’s a bar in the neighborhood called the “Copa del Rey” and it has some tables outside, where the music is slightly less painful. It turns out that at six o’clock, the bar was shutting down because Sunday was election day. I finished my beer and took another stroll around. All the bars and gentlemen’s clubs were shutting down, and it was interesting to see some of the girls in broad daylight with their dim light makeup on. Some of it was kind of scary.

I went back across the street to wait at the pharmacy. While waiting, I was approached by a pair of chicas who looked quite young. They propositioned me but I said that they looked underage. One of them obviously was, but the other pulled out her cedula (identity card) to prove she was legal. She looked nice, if a little on the rough side with her tattoos and whatnot. I told her maybe another time but I had to get back home with my medicine. She smiled and blew me a kiss as she walked away.

And that was my trip to the Pharmacy.