[rau]
From the Miss Earth, Oaxaca contest. They are all winners in my book.
I do wish somebody had moved that potted plant, though. Do we have any volunteers?
Online Window Shopping in Colombia
Caution! If you already have enough distractions and time wasters in your life, you may want to skip this. If you are always up for something new, then read on.
[rau]
A friend brought some websites to my attention that I have become rather addicted to. I’ll give some examples later. I won’t give them now because once THERE… you may never return HERE to finish this post. AT ANY RATE… these websites feature numerous women advertising their “erotic” services. But compared to sites in North America, the sites in Latin America are considerably more explicit. Basically, anything goes. Full frontal nudity? Check. Graphic descriptions? Check. About all you will not see are faces, and there are exceptions to that rule too, if the chica is ‘out of the closet’ so to speak.
So, you go to one of these sites, and up pop a bunch of smaller summary type ads that you can click on to get the full page, which generally includes several more photos, descriptions of ‘services’ and contact info. If you’re like me you will check out the photos first, and do that thing we do where we decide if they are attractive enough (most are) and if so, just how attractive.
The next thing that I do is to check out the information, of which 99% is in Spanish. But even if you speak zero Spanish, you can still see a few words you’ll understand: Hotel, trio, or sexual. And with just a tiny bit of guesswork you will be able to translate preciosa, deliciosa, exotica, satisfacción, and so forth. The real fun is when you translate the words you don’t know. My own Spanish is decent. But I have to confess that nosing around these sites and doing translations (via Google) has expanded my vocabulary considerably, and in a fun direction, I have to tell you.
So when you get tired of just looking at pictures, or when you want to know more about what some chica is talking about, it’s time to do the translate thing. By going to Google translate, you can copy and paste large sections of Spanish text and translate into English, instantly. The translations are going to sound funny sometimes. But if you allow for the limitations of a computer translation, you can get a fair idea of what their spiel is all about.
For example, it’s hard to believe (and I don’t) but nearly EVERY one of these girls gives the best oral you will EVER have, and/or the best sex you could ever have. Clearly they can’t all be the best, but we can mark it down to poetic license.
So… how would a guy like you find one of these sites to fool around on? Well, it’s pretty easy. I don’t want to give specific sites here, but do a search on, say, ‘escorts colombia’ or ‘prepago colombia’ and just browse to your heart’s content. Open up another tab and search for ‘google translate Spanish English’ and you should bet the translate page. Copy and paste into the Spanish box and, voila! Works for individual words as well.
Have fun!
[rau]
Getting Laid not Screwed Part 2
Here we’ll get into some more specifics about ways folks will try to screw you and advice on how to avoid it. I have heard about some pretty substantial rip-offs, so let’s start by discussing a couple of the worst.
One that I mentioned in the previous post is the “night club” rip off. It deserves a little more attention. First of all, no matter where you go, you can avoid most problems with 2 simple things. First, before you even order your first drink, ASK HOW MUCH. If you (foolishly) plan to pay in dollars, get the price in dollars. Otherwise be familiar with the local exchange rate. NEVER, EVER, EVER, order anything, whether it’s a drink or a lap dance, without KNOWING THE PRICE!
[rau]
Second thing: ALWAYS pay for every round in cash. NEVER run a tab, and NEVER pay with plastic. Violate either of these rules and you may find yourself with a 4 figure bill and steroid infested gangsters to make sure you pay before you leave. It has happened. Don’t let it happen to YOU.
New topic… Chica rip offs: There are lots of ways you can get ripped off by your ‘playmate of the hour.’ A certain percentage of working girls will steal from you, given the opportunity. You should really operate under the assumption that ANY chica you are with will steal from you. Many will not, maybe most will not, but you have no way to know. Lock up your stuff. Nothing is too big or too small for a dedicated thief.
Besides outright theft there is the rip off of not getting the service you were promised, or hoped for, or whatever. This is very hard to prevent and my advice here is more geared to what to do when things go badly.
A lot of mongers will tell you NEVER to pay in advance. I am not one of them, but let’s look at their reasoning. The idea is that the chica will HAVE to perform because if she doesn’t you can refuse to pay her. The idea is if you don’t pay up front and the chica is lousy, you don’t pay her. Then what? I can give you a good guess. You are in for a major scene. She may call the cops, raise a giant stink in your hotel, claim you tried to rape her, or who knows what. Do you imagine she’ll just say ‘ok, no problem papi, I know I’m lousy. Thanks for giving me a try?’ Dream on.
Another theory is that you will screen out bad performers by insisting on not paying up front. Perhaps so. The time to screen them out is NOT when she has already come back with you to your room. Do your screening up front, when you agree to a price. If you don’t even agree to a price before you pull some chica out of a bar, you may be beyond hope.
My own advice is agree to a price and what you expect in the way of service. If you refuse to pay in advance, tell her so up front. If you are flexible, tell her you’ll put the money on the dresser (or whatever). If she still insists on money in hand, it’s your call. If you do pay in advance and she’s not what you expected, chalk it up to experience.
Thomas O’Brien is the author of several book about the hobby of whoremongering. His latest is “The Whoremonger’s Home Companion.”
Talladoras! Hard Bodies in Bikinis
[rau]
“Talladora” means “shaper” in Spanish. These girls have spent a lot of time in the gym, and the results are spectacular.