Thomas O'Brien

It’s a fantasy most men have had, to be with two (or more) women at the same time. It’s a familiar subject of ‘adult’ videos and other adult oriented media. Why, exactly, this is so isn’t something I can explain with certainty. Maybe it’s simply the fact that ‘more is more.’ After all, if one naked woman in bed with you is sexy, two in bed with you could just be twice as sexy, a ‘double your pleasure’ thing. I suppose it could also be an ego thing. If a guy considers it an achievement to get one woman in his bed, then getting two should count for twice the points, probably a lot more, I’d think.

But if we’re awarding points, there has to be a difference between paying for a threesome and having one simply based on your charm and good looks. I’ve had one non-paying threesome and quite a few where I paid. In most of the cases, I would probably have enjoyed myself more with just the better of the two companions, but I either didn’t know who would be better beforehand, or the extra girl was just sort of an add-on. I have told the story in one of my books where I ended up with four girls in my bed, mostly because it was late, we all knew each other, and they all needed a little money for the next day and I was their best bet, or more likely, their ONLY bet.

It turned out to be nothing all that exciting, but that’s not to say that threesomes (or more) are doomed to failure. From what I have observed, the perfect threesome is where the two girls are ‘into’ each other and also just plain enjoy sex with YOU. If they enjoy sex with almost anybody should be beside the point. If they both happen to be hotties, so much the better.

On the other side of the coin you may get, at best, a sham lesbi-show and going-through-the-motions sex, or even worse, one distracts while the other steals. It happens, and if you decide to indulge, don’t get so carried away with the better chick that you aren’t paying attention to the OTHER one. I shamefully admit that happened to me. Details can be found in “Dances with Prostitutes” if you are curious.

I’ve had some decent threesomes, but I’m still looking for that (near) perfect one. I’ll let you know if I come across one.

I used to play in a Country band. It was back in the days when people preferred to dance to live music. I was in one particular group that certainly gave me an education that I couldn’t have gotten at Harvard. I was relatively young, and it just so happened that our bass player and singer was a lesbian who had the voice of an angel but that was the end of her angelic qualities. She was difficult to get along with, which caused the band to go through a lot of drummers. I can think of six in the space of a year. One of them, a guy called ‘Frenchy’ was quite fond of attention and did a rather entertaining drum solo that included a little comedy shtick. The comedy wasn’t bad, but after hearing the same jokes over and over, I just tolerated it along with the other things musicians tolerate in bars.

Now, Frenchy had this little toast he did when it was somebody’s birthday. I’m sure he didn’t make it up, but he was the first person I heard it from. It went like… “Here’s to so-and-so. May you live as long as you want to… (here he would do a little fake giggle) and may you WANT TO as long as you live!”

[rau]

Now, I think that mongers all ‘want to’ as long as they live, but wanting to do something doesn’t mean you are able. With the widespread use of ED medications, the number of years we are able has been extended quite a bit. It varies a lot from man to man, just as other aspects of sex vary, but even an unfortunate who lost his (unmedicated) ‘mojo’ at forty can extend his functionality by years if not decades. Still, there are some men who lose their ability to perform long before they lose their love of female company, even with the aforementioned performance enhancing medications.

I don’t imagine that most who have NOT lost their mojos give much thought to those who have, but those who see their sex drives declining tend not to be enthusiastic about it. But a friend’s father used to have a little saying that may, perhaps, be of some comfort. Uncle Ray used to say, “I may be too old to cut the mustard, but I can still lick the jar!”

So cherish your stiff upper lip, and tongue, when all else fails.